My AutoBiography

by Ken Harris

 

THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE IS TODAY

 

MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY

This is for Lyndon and also my Family and Friends

Thank you to Jesus and to God for being with me throughout all the days of my life.

Thank you to Kevin Lock for typing up my notes and for producing this book.

© Copyright Ken Harris
First Published: January 2007

My prayer:
To fulfil God’s purpose in this life.

Published by Kenneth M Harris, Torquay, Devon, England.

ISBN 0-9547094-1-1

Copy printed by Kevin H Lock, Suite 3, 29 Morgan Avenue, Torquay, Devon. TQ2 5RR. England.



COPYRIGHT NOTICE

All rights reserved under international copyright law. The contents and/or cover may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form without the express written consent of the publisher.


My name is
Ken Harris

 

Now, let me introduce myself
as this is my Autobiography:

I was born in Torquay, Devon, at home with my mother, Anne, & my father, Peter - i have two sisters, Shirley, & Pamela

I consider us to be a Christian family. And, we love each other, & nurture & support each other, & we all delight in each others lives, &, indeed Celebrate our family life together.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank God & his son, Jesus Christ - for my loving family ; who i deeply love & i pray for God blessing to sustain us , to protect our hearts & thoughts , to love us & save us & inspire us into Gods very own Will for each of our lives.


The chapters in this book include:

The first thirty-seven years of my life

My Journey through mental health

Asking Jesus into my life

My first Dicky-Bow tie

My first girlfriends

My fourtieth Birthday in 2007

Creating 'Festival Lovers'

My Art, A Book of Paintings

A Public Relationship

The House of Books

Sex Trans(mutation)

The Art of Peace

My fourty songs - Talking, Lifes a Celebration

Aikido

Christianity

Good Mental Health

Famine Relief

Equality for Disabled People

Homes for the Homeless

Space Aviation

Writing for Newspapers etc

My aspirations to be a Methodist Church Minister

My Vocation: As a Public Relations Individual

Plans... God Willing.... for my hundred and third Birthday Party


My Autobiography

Now that I am thirty seven

By Ken Harris

 

I have released a Press Article that was published in the Herald Express newspaper promoting the Abbey club day centre, & its manager, in Torquay.

I am currently doing Public Relations work for a Singer/song writer – I am arranging recording studio time & a video shoot for this artist.

I am studying Public Relations literature.

I am studying computers: word processing, Internet,
E- Mailing.

I have worked as a book salesman for the Book People in Devon, for two years.

I have worked as a telephone salesman for Frank Manns in Torquay, for six months.

I have worked as a Barman at the Snooty Fox pub in Torquay, for six months.

I have worked as an Architectural Technician, for Baldock Benns & Heighway, Architects, in Torquay, for four years.

I have worked, collecting the Times newspaper for local distribution in Torquay for six months.

I have an A level in Art Painting & History

I have studied A level English Language & Literature

I have seven O levels, including English & Maths

I have a Higher National Certificate, TEC, In Building Studies

I have a blue belt in Aikido martial art

I have written & sold copies my book called Festival Lovers. I have made a video production of this story.

I have painted numerous oil paintings: Portraits, & Landscapes: thirty paintings.

I have created & recorded in recording studio three songs: Talking, Live Days With You, & God Bless Lyndon

I have acted in four amateur dramatic productions with Shiphay amateur dramatic company in Torquay:
See How They Run, Celebration, Dick Whittington, Jack The Ripper

I spent five years living & engaged to Julie, & am a father to her son Lyndon, who is now fourteen years old. I am now single, & see Lyndon a couple of times each week: we shoot Pool together & walk, eat out, & go to the cinema etc.

I have done numerous other jobs, including: Swimming pool Lifeguard, Hospital Porter, Delivery Salesman, Grill chef in Macdonald’s, Gardener, Refreshments assistant for League of Friends at Torbay Hospital

I am a Born Again Christian & go to Central Methodist Church, in Torquay.

I have spent much time canoeing, on the sea, surfing, & River Dart canoeing. I took part in an expedition, from Plymouth to Torquay, which took three days.

I like walking, & am looking forward one day to walking in the Lake District.

I have spent many hours Windsurfing.

I have a mountain bike, & as a child used to cycle from Torquay to Haytor Rock.

I am a keen Chess player.

I swim once a week with my parents, & can do twenty metres in eighteen seconds front crawl.

As a teenager & in my early twenties I used to read a lot of Autobiographies & Biographies.

I have holidayed to Italy with my family, for a week.

I have hitched-hiked to London, numerous times, & to Paris, with my sister.

I have been to Glastonbury Festival, with my boy, &
another friend.

I am interested in Space Aviation.

 



Chapter One

I have had girlfriends.

My best friend is Garri

I went to St Margaret’s primary school. Then went on to Westlands secondary school.

I had a fight in the playground with Garri, John said I got in the best punches, Garri got me in a headlock; the fight was broken up by the P.E. teacher.

I started practicing Aikido martial art when I was about fifteen. Science, Ken was the teacher. I also learnt Aikido with Eric, then John, & now Danny.

At fourteen, Me Garri, & Lawrence went regularly to Starbase disco, on Saturdays. At Castle Circus, Torquay. There I met my first girlfriend called Donna. Donna & I would meet at the weekends in Paignton. I had my first kiss at Starbase, when I was fourteen.

My first encounter was when I was eighteen in a school porch. Then I met with Philis at my parent’s house when I was nineteen.

I was born in Torquay, at my parents house, Torquay. I have two older sisters.

My mum is an artist, & my dad is a trained carpenter who can turn his hand to anything.

I have read books: Mahatma Gandhi; Elenor Roosevelt; Theodore Roosevelt, Clementine Churchill; Portrait of a Marriage – about Vita Sackville-west & Harold Nicholson; The Monument; Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude, by Napoleon Hill & W. Clement-stone; Think & Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill; Tao, The water Course Way, by Alan Watts; Right With God, by John Blanchard; The Worlds Greatest Lovers;

I have studied Shakespeare with the Open University, a third level Degree unit. I have read: Richard 11; Cleopatra; Hamlet; Henry the Fourth, part one & two; & others.

I have a very good friend called: Alan, another called Tim, I have in the last two years made a very good friend called: Kevin.

I have since becoming a Born Again Christian at age thirty, been going to church every Sunday, & I go to a Healing prayer group on Tuesday. I like the Ministers: Brian, Jeff & Peter.

My dad is called: Peter; my mother is called Anne.

My stepson is called Lyndon. I was reading a biography about Lyndon Johnson, the American President that is how I chose Lyndon’s name.

I worked at Baldock Benns & Heighway Architects. Paul was a great inspiration to me – in his example I follow, I have great esteem for Paul. Other colleagues include Peter, Alan, Dave and Mark.

Julie was my first proper Love. She is the first girl that I had a full relationship with. I had other girlfriends before Julie, but not in the fullest way. Julie & I met at the Hideaway nightclub, I was with my friends: Garri & Alan; Julie was with her friends Becky, & Rose. I took Julie home.

My dad purchased a car for me when I was nineteen – a Vauxhal Viva. I had passed my driving test on the second attempt. I was supposed to pay my dad back. But I needed the money for beer.

I worked for Julie’s dad Nigel in Torquay.

Me & my friends used to go to Lasers nightclub; Four hundred nightclub.

I had a girl friend called: Kym. Kym lived in Brixham, my friend Garri went out with Lucy. We all used to meet every weekend, & hang out together. I had a Swedish girl friend called: Lill-ruth.
I had a German girl friend called: Henryetta.

Me, Garri, Simon, & Mike made ourselves fibreglass canoes.

One of the high points of my life is when I played a German, disguised as a vicar, in a stage production called: See How They Run.

I treasure the memories of bringing Lyndon up as a baby.
I was in the Hospital waiting room when Lyndon was born. Julie let me believe that Lyndon was my natural son. But when Lyndon was six months old, I had a DNA bloodiest done, through my G.P. Doctor Nicholas & it was shown that I am not Lyndons biological father.
But I was so deeply in love with Julie & Lyndon that we stayed together. I met two other women when I found that Lyndon was not my son. But I loved Juie & Lyndon, so went back to Julie. Julie & I then got engaged to each other. This engagement lasted for about four years. I used to change Lyndons nappy. I used to feed Lyndon. Lyndon was a very happy & healthy baby. I believe that Julie & I gave Lyndon a lot of love – which is so important in the early years of a baby’s life.

I studied Building Studies at South Devon College. My friends there were: Steven, Sean, Guy and others. Keith was a mentor for me, as was Mike. We had some fun on the course, but really I would have preferred studying something where we could meet more women.

Now I want to work in Public Relations. This is because I like to meet people, & I like to talk with people – I like a good chat, & it is an industry where I can imagine that I will meet as many women as men, which is what I like.
Building is boring because it is all men – I want to meet women; this does not mean that I want to get off with them all though, I just like being with them.

My birthday is Feb 27th, I am a Pisces, birth sign.

When I was young I went to the Riviera boxing club with Derek, Paul, & Steven. Dad would not let me go competitive in the ring because of head injuries, but I used to train with them; running etc.

I had two street friends called Andrew & Julian. We used to go to Sunday school and youth club together.

When Lyndon was young I took him each week to Sunday school. Lyndon now goes to secondary school.

I did a Portrait of Lyndon with a Xylophone, when he was two years old, in oil paint. I have painted some portraits of Julie.

Me, Julie & Lyndon lived for five years at Parkfield road, Upton, Torquay.

I made a great friend out of Kay. We went out with each other for ten months.

Julie & I used to go nightclubbing separately & sometimes together. At Christmas we went in fancy dress, one time as pirates, another time as American footballers.
Julie & I had quite as stormy relationship, when we first moved into Parkfield road. I was paying the rent & the food & for the baby, I could afford it because I had two jobs – architects during the day & Johnson’s newspapers at night. I was able to provide wine on the meal table & meals out in restaurants etc, I was on eleven thousand a year.
I nearly killed myself, driving at night, I had two jobs & Julie & I did not miss out, so I wasn’t getting much sleep, I nearly fell asleep in the transit van, - I believe that Jesus & God saved my life.
When I found that Lyndon was not my son – all things changed – I got the sack from my architectural job for taking two months off without notice; I left it to Julie to work out how she & Lyndon would get by – she claimed benefit – I unwittingly lost all my rights over the flat – which was a big reason why I had a breakdown.

I decided to follow my own interests, I wanted to do English theatre, art, music, & all the arty farty things I romanticised about. I did get a certain amount of success in my new aspirations. I began writing my novelette, which was first entitled Elusive Life. I read about Tony Hancock, I began to become unwell from the age of twenty-two, I began to become desperate.

I worked with Mark, selling books; I spent much money on photocopying, photographs, etc. connected to my writing endeavours. I spent much time on my own – I seemed…

I studied A level English language & literature, A level painting & History & Higher National Certificate in Building, at the same time I worked for Frank Manns as a driver delivery person, I went to Dartmouth, Tavistock, Barnstable, Torquay, starting at about four am & working till about one pm.
I would cook cottage pie on a Friday, I paid generally for all our food & bills & I don’t know what Julie did with her benefit money.
Because I had lost rights over our flat, when Julie & me would fight, she had the power to throw me out.

Me & Kay had a lot of fun together. We would listen to Alanis Morissette. We danced round the flat together. Kay and I went out with each other for ten months. We saw each other everyday. We have remained good friends. I did an oil painting of Kay, & I also did an oil painting of her friend Tanya, who lives in Shaldon.

I used to go to the monastery night club/rave club, in Torwood Street down by the harbour. Julie would also go to the monastery & we often saw each other there. I used to sport a bendy Tobacco pipe, & a baseball cap, the club was open till seven am. - We used to stay the whole time dancing. I once pretended to smoke cannabis – I will tell you about this later.
I had a flat at Sharon House, Sanford road, Chelston – it was a lovely flat. I kept it really nice and bought some potted plants and watered them etc… I only kept the flat for a short while and then moved on.

Julie took out two injunctions against me, I asked Julie to marry me on three occasions. I sent Julie some flowers to Lyndon’s School. Julie’s boyfriend Steve hit me twice with a baseball bat that was my bat. – I went to hospital; I thought he had broken my arm.

I had a top flat in number three, Wellesley road, in Ellacombe.
I had a flat at, number twenty five, Castle road.

I have lived in a hostel called Parkview, Castle Road on two occasions.

I was homeless for two weeks. The Police have arrested me on two occasions. I once broke into the Tormohun hotel, on Newton Road.

Me Julie, & Lyndon, hitchhiked to Glastonbury festival. I went to Glastonbury festival with Mark.

My novelette is now called: Festival Lovers. I have got seventy rejection letters from publishers. I have sold one book in the Book fair bookshop.

Julies mum has been a very good friend to me and has also helped me to have contact with Lyndon.

I sometimes hire a car; I took Lyndon to Dartmouth in a hired car.

Julie, Lyndon, & I went to Double Locks Hotel, for the May Day celebration. Me & Julie had a very good life throughout our relationship.

I was attracted to Julie, also because she comes from a family of women – no men about, Patricia, Genevieve, & Sarah.
I helped Patricia cultivate her garden, in the early stages when I was becoming ill.
I like the Rolling stones, Mick Jagger, & Jimi Hendrix. Me & Kay used to dance together listening to Alanis Morisette.
I had a girlfriend called Michelle; I had a white South African girlfriend called Kate.
I had an exhibition, with a guy called Mr Green, at Fleet walk in Torquay – I displayed six prints, & sold one.
My song, called: Talking has been played on Torbay Hospital radio.
I have been up in a glider, I have been up the Eiffel tower, I have touched a Van Gogh painting in the Tate Gallery in London. I have slept in the most prestigious & expensive place in Paris for nothing – under the Eiffel Tower. I stayed with Mark in London. I stayed with Genevieve in London.

I lived at Sue’s House, Beenland Place East Street, Torquay. For three years, I went to Butlins.

I took Lyndon to the cinema: Jurassic Park, The Mask, Lion King, Beauty & The Beast, Triple `X`, Starsky and Hutch, Flintstones.

Me & Angie went to see American Beauty and dated for four months. We used to cycle together.
Gennette gave me a very large Valentines card.
I worked as a dishwasher in Hoopers. I worked as a gardener at Meadfoot for Mike.

I did a portrait of Genevieve & Sarah; I did a landscape of Parkfield Road. I did a landscape of Tessier Garden. John the Welsh Artist was my tutor at college.

I sold Christmas cards from my own initiative.

I did a Boxing Day dip, & was in the newspaper because of it.

I did the Bob Geldof Live Aid Run from Paignton to Torquay & back, with Steven, Tim & James.

I won the best canoeists award, & came third in a kayak race & won a cup.
I went to parent craft classes. I had an Eighteenth birthday party at the Falkland hotel in Torquay. – I hired a
kissogram for Andy’s party.

Me & Julie dined at the Casino. – Julie booked us into a Brixham hotel for Valentines Day.
I have been on the London Underground, & the Paris Metro.
I bought a washing machine, cooker and fridge. I used to take Lyndon to the swing park.
Lyndon, Pat & I went to Brixham on the ferry.
I did a portrait of a female care worker called Kerry.

I once tied Steven to a ladder, where he wet himself. Andrew, Julian & I used to play with their vast amount of Lego.

I made a teabag pot & a chessboard table in woodwork. I used to help Alan with his woodwork homework.
I read Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, recommended by Mike.

I have given two hundred copies of my book away.

I went to Julie’s bed-sit in Warren road & we talked.

Me & Julie used to fight, but I was in love with her & I believe she loved me too.

I made up Talking on the piano; I developed it from some chords I learnt on O level music.

My whole family have been keen windsurfers.

I hold Sylvia & Pam in high regard for their youth work & Sunday school - & Steven – we had some lovely days out, walks etc.

I used to run around the golf club, with Brian.

I have got published two poems – I’ve been in love, I can tell a love story, & A Poem About Smarties. By United Press.

I have read books: Ian Robert Maxwell, a biography. Arthur Miller, Jude the Obscure, The Rivals, by Richard Sheridan. Piccasso, The Importance of Being Earnest, by Oscar Wild, Martin Luther King, Aikido & The Dynamic Sphere, The Art of Peace by Moriehe Ueshiba. It’s a Great Life. The Moons a Balloon by David Niven. Errol Flynn.

Lyndon’s real dad may be a guy called Neil who lives in Nottingham – but this has not yet been proven. I wrote to Lyndon’s dad & told him he had a son.

I was a Rude Boy, in my teens, & then a New Romantic – I drink Bitter shandy.

We used to go to Monroe’s night-club; the Castle pub, at Castle circus; The Hop-n-Grapes, the Mousetrap etc. I used to Meet Henrietta at lunch times, & we used to go to the Hideaway together. She helped me with my homework. I made a balsa wood glider & flew it once.

I got thrown out of Valbonnes, for punching Adrian, because he comes on to Julie.- I have been thrown out of Snobs, for fooling around. – I was asked to leave Chaplin’s by a barman. I reversed my car into an oncoming lorry – the police driving a Mazda stopped me at 92 miles an hour.
I had relations with Tracey in Lasers.
I met a Filipino girl on numerous times.
I have sung Karaoke, & was thrown beer mats at me
I had a girl friend called Mellanney at the 400 club.
Me & My family we camping at Bournemouth together – I’ve been to Blackpool

Me & Hayden Hitchhiked to Brighton & stayed with his sister Helen. I’ve been to an Architecture exhibition in London. – I’ve seen the Mona Lisa, in Paris.

I like the Darling Budds of May, with David Jason because it is so happy. As a child I used to go to Torre-abbey sands in the summer.
I used to keep a journal, but scrapped it. I read a bit of the Bible every day as a rule in recent years.
I went with a girl called Mandy, but we didn’t have sex.
I knew a girl called Louise – she went to Westland’s School.

I met Vicky at Ritzies nightclub an met with Debbie, Kate, Lisa, Madeline, Delma, Tina, Janice, Jackie, and Sarah.

Me & Mark danced all night & morning at Glastonbury festival. We went by train, & used my two man tent – we saw the great Jewels Holland, Stereophonics, Rolf Harris & others.

I do love Lyndon.

Me & Andrew & Julian used to wrestle each other. I used to wrestle with the Halls boys on the moors. We used to go to the moors, the whole family at the weekends. I had a friend called Anna-Marie who used to live in Dawlish – she was a good kisser, she wanted to join the Police.

I used to belong to Torquay Leander swimming club & used to lane train every week.

I had a friend named Fred. I got caught with Mark for stealing from St Margaret’s school. I can do Ballroom dancing.

The family used to get together at Christmas with my grand parents, Norman, Helen, Winniefred, & Les. I used to ride my skateboard & unicycle.

I worked at the post-office – sorting office at Christmas. I worked making coffee in a café at St. Marychurch. I was a shelf-filler at international. I had a Sunday paper-round.

I saw a production of The Canterbury tales at college, I love the Canterbury tales. We have had a family holiday at Centre Parc's. I have two blood uncles & one auntie.- I have a nephew. I spent some weeks studying philosophy at college. I had a girlfriend called: Camilla. For some two weeks. – I had a girlfriend called Nikki for some weeks.

I have lived in Launston for a month. I have read some love poetry: Thomas Hardy. I worked in the BBH Dartmouth office for three months.

I took Lyndon to the faire & one the Go-karts, to Cockington & on a speedboat ride.
A girl at school called Mary tattooed my name on her arm – she used to fancy me.

Me Garri, & Mark used to hang out with some Grammar school girls called: Anne, Liz, Sam & others, we went to some parties. Garri used to buy me beer. I read the Times newspaper.
I used to tease my cousin: Michael, especially on Halloween. The family used to play Newmarket.

I have read Jimi Saviles autobiography called: As It Happens, Jimi is such a wonderful man – dear God – bless Jimi Savile
Dear God: bless my family & friends – people I know, & people I don’t know – amen.
Jimi Savile has a wonderful talent of expression, he seems so healthy, and he makes me think of love & good will. His autobiography is so lovely & easy to read.
I have read David Jasons autobiography, also Tommy Cooper, I have read about Eric Morecombe, I have read a little about Bertram Russel. I have read Elia Kazans autobiography. The first book I read as a child was: Stig Of The Dump. But I have read the Peter & Jane Books, & the Pirate books:Gregory the Green, & red, & Blue etc. I pray to God for all good things for Lyndon.

Julie & I met in June 1988; Lyndon was born on my birthday: February 27th, 1989. Julie lived with me at my parent’s house during her pregnancy and then in Jan 89 we moved into Parkfield road. Julie & I met in June 1988;

I have created three songs: Live days with me, Talking, & God Bless Lyndon. Sarah & Me are making a compilation C.D. of our songs – on the same C.D.

My family & me go on holiday at Centre Parcs, at the New Forest, longleat, each year, we have good fun together.

I have circulated my short story: Festival Lovers, all round Torquay, with a poster advertising my book for sale in all the newsagents & other shops, including the Pavilions.

I have sold a few copies of my book.

I like Aikido, Which was founded by Moriehie Ueshiba; another name for Aikido is: The Art Of Peace - isn’t it wonderful! I practice only once a week at present, at Newton Abbot. I think it is such a wholesome & healthy thing to practice, & that it is such a valuable skill to have, & for keeping the peace, & avoiding injury to oneself & others.

In December I met Gina. We have enjoyed a good friendship now for seven months.
I have a voluntary job with a charity called “Vocal” – I help clients with advocacy skills.
I want to develop a career and vocations as a “Public Relations” individual.

The best day of my life is not the day I get married, the best day of my life is the day that I asked Jesus into my life – age thirty.

I am interested in mans aspirations in space aviation. I think this is exciting.

I have read two books written about and with the wonderful Mother Theresa of Calcutta.

I have read: The Lions Children’s Bible by Pat Alexander and Carolyn Cox – I am reading it for the twenty second time.

 

TODAY


I have recorded twenty four songs including “Talking” – which I wrote, sing and play the piano to. Kevin put the music to “Life’s a Celebration”.

I have written two musical plays called:

Sex Trans (mutation) and The Art of Peace

I have attended the “Vocal” – Citizens Advocacy course in Paignton and I have been awarded the “Vocal” certificate of Achievement and help clients with advocacy etc…

I have spent sixteen years creating a novelette which I have titled: Festival Lovers

Festival Lovers; includes thoughts about God; Aikido Martial Art; The Philosophy of Success; the “Tao” Chinese philosophy; Music Festivals such as the Glastonbury Festival and thoughts about outer-space and mans future in outer-space.

Me and Kevin made a (DVD) Video Jackanory style out of Festival Lovers in front of the Riviera Centre in Torquay. Also we made an Audio recording on C.D. which lasts fifty minutes.

My painting of “Tessier Garden” has been chosen for the cover of the Torbay Mental Health Information Directory which is now in print.

Open up the book with:
My biggest single achievement in my life so far, I believe, is my novelette: Festival Lovers - (develop this)

Talk about my work at BBH:

I did surveying and drawings for houses, factories, extensions, barn-conversions etc… Existing plans from surveys, feasibility and development drawings, planning drawings, building regs drawings and detailing etc…

Talk about my other jobs.

Why I like Aikido etc… and explain Aikido etc…

Talk about my paintings, songs, dramatics and musical plays etc…

Talk about star base, meeting and dating. Donna and Rachel – mention the long line of girls that asked me and Garri out etc…

Mention how I used to read the “Times” and the “Telegraph”.

Mention me, Garri, Alan and others went out every week to Lasers, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday.

Mention – Michelle from Torquay was my girlfriend who I took home etc…

Mention – First in sea on Boxing Day dip and photo

- Include photos like Jimi Saville did.
- Mention Teddy-Boy in banana suite in “Celebration”
- Talk about: “See How They Run”
- Talk about getting engaged to Becky who is eighteen?
- Mention how I like Hardy`s love poems and that I have seen Hamlet at Theatre Royal in Plymouth.

Talk about my delight in: The Rivals and Importance of Being Earnest.

Talk about rehearsing with Toads – but babysitting Lyndon stopped it.

Talk about Auction of Crosby Lodge and my interest in it?

Talk about reading:

It’s a Great Life by John Eddison, Journey into Life by Norman Warren, Right with God by John Blanchard.

- Talk about my paintings! Mention Julie portrait in purple and Aikido paintings at Double Locks etc… - Sketch of Genevieve.
- Describe Glastonbury festival – on the train with Julie, Lyndon, Stuart and Mark – dancing all night etc…
- Talk about getting Festival Lovers publishing myself. Copyprinted by Richard, in Torquay and 250 copies given away and attempts to get publicity.
- Going to London with Gina and Dartmouth, Brixham, Totnes etc… Exeter – we had a full relationship for five months
- Practicing with Exeter Aikido club with James etc…
- Girlfriend Debbie had skin-head and Gina had tattoos
- I drink bitter shandy – favourite T.V. program is Darling Budds of May, Benny Hill, Morcambe and Wise and the Two Ronnie’s etc…
- Promoted Torbay Voluntary Bureau (with Rita?)
- Jo Public, name, and promotional leaflet of mine. Include my two poems – Include prologue of Festival Lovers and the two plays.


Getting British library copyright protection on Festival Lovers.

Boyce Hatton solicitors Torquay for copyright.

- I love Madonna “Holiday”, “Crazy for You”
- Aspirations for Festival Lovers, Plays and songs.
- My favourite Bible story is King David.
- Favourite meal at the pub is – Ham Ploughman’s
- Favourite activity is walking in Torquay Town Centre on a sunny day in shorts and T-Shirt etc…
- Recorded in Applestone music shop studio with Phil and just off Abbey Road studio – Trident with Malcolm and Tim.
- Video with Lionel and Kevin, Audio with Kevin.
- Role models – Mick Jagger, Robert Prig, Pablo Picasso, Winston Churchill and King David and of coarse my Dad.
- Getting a glass thrown at me in the Hideaway and getting thrown out and asking Hayden for a fight.
- Girlfriend Helen, now in Canada with child.
- Getting a glass thrown at me in Monroe’s Gay Club while in a suit and smoking a bendy pipe.
- I love my family parents and sisters – secure sheltered family life – love etc…
- Fears about catching S.T.I.`s; H.I.V. and A.I.D.S. etc… and my family and friends and young people.

The most profound and poetical epitaph I ever came across
Was Jimi Hendrix when he said “Scus me while I kiss the sky”

Doodles night club – stripper night, rubbing cream into her breasts.

St. Margaret’s School – rolling around on the grass – the wonderful smell of freshly cut grass.

I made a transistor radio and an electric motor from guidebooks – They worked!

- First book I ever remember reading: Stig of the Dump
- Favourite films: Back to the Future; The Mask


I made paintings into gift cards and give and sell them with envelopes.

- Favourite songs Spirit in the Sky; Lovely Day by Bill Withers and I’m in Love by Donna Summer.
- I read a book called: An Introduction to Law
- I have designed a Public Building as a college project.
- I have written a novelette titled: Festival Lovers, I have made a DVD jack-annory style of this book, with Kevin Lock
- I am writing two more novelettes: A Public Relationship and The House of Books
- I am writing two musical videos which I wish to create: Sex Trans and The Art of Peace
- I have recorded forty songs, including: Talking, Life’s A Celebration, God Bless Lyndon and Into Your Eyes
- I had a five month relationship with Gina. We went to London together etc…
- I sold an original of my paintings – Lover’s Sun Alter at Tessier Garden, Torquay for one hundred pounds.
- I have distributed on hundred prints of my thirty paintings around Torbay.


 

Chapter Two

 

My Journey through Mental Health

Mental Health
Service User Advocacy

By
Ken Harris
Torquay, Devon.

My Testimony:

Well, I was a very unstable teenager - as indeed, most of us are, if we are truthful. And I think this volatility prepared the ground for my Breakdown and mental Health problems.

From the age of eighteen to twenty-two, I worked for an architect, in Torquay, as an Architectural technician.

Well anyway, at the age of twenty-one, I met Julie. I immediately feel in love with Julie. I can confess that I feel deeply in love with Julie. She was everything I could ever wish for in a woman. She was attractive, and had a strong personality.

Julie and myself immediately formed a relationship with each other. In no time at all, I said to Julie “If you want my baby, you can have it.”

Anyway, three weeks later Julie came back to me & said:
"Im pregnant". Julie lead me to believe, that the baby was mine.

Julie & Myself moved into a flat together, & prepared to make a family together.

When Julie, told me she was having my baby. It was the best feeling i have ever had in my life. Julie was offering me everything, everything i could dream of. Herself, the woman i loved, deeply, & a baby together.

To pay for my new family, i worked day & night. I worked in the architects during the day, & worked for a newspaper wholesaler at night - collecting newspapers from exeter, for distribution in Torbay.

When the baby was six months old, i became suspicious of my fathership, because of something somebody said.
So i insisted on a blood "DNA", test. The result was : I was not infact the true biological father.

This changed everything. Suddenly i was experiencing, The Bereavement of my own baby. And Julie gave me another mans baby.

No longer was Julie my woman, She belonged to another man, with the baby of another man.

I lost everything. I lost the woman i thought was mine, & i lost the baby i thought was mine.

Any way. I still loved Julie & could not desert the baby, as i was the only father around. So we lived together for five years.

But i gave up my jobs, i thought that this was not my family, so why should i work to provide for it. Julie then claimed benefits for her & the child.

I went all "Arty-farty", i studied A level english & art, o level music, Shakspeare with open university. I acted in four local amateur dramatic productions etc.

I started to paint, I started to write a novelette, & songs, etc.I practiced Aikido Martial Art.

I worked for fruit & Veg wholesalers, etc. Then i worked selling books.

It has been suggested to me, that, this event is what triggered off my breakdown. Over the five years we lived together , i believe this relationships, is what destroyed my mental health.

I started to become very stressed out by everything, & emotionally, i was distressed all the time. I became Manic, I was on the Go all the time - writting , painting, working, keeping late nights with Julie.

But i loved the baby, changed nappies, etc & fed him.

So i had nine months of counselling, - but got worse & worse.

At age twenty-six, i admitted myself into the psychiatric ward of Torbay Hospital. They put me on a section. & administered to me medication.

They initially diagnosed me as suffering from stress, but i feared, & it was eventually proved true that my problems were more serious than that.

Because of my acquired "Mental Health"(illness) status, Julie finished our relationship, taking her child with her.

So i lost the two people i loved most in the world. This loss i believe is the reason of my subsequent depression. I was diagnosed with Manic Depression, BI-Polar disorder, at the age of twenty-eight.

My parents could not cope with my depression. So i went to live in a hostel, for people with mental health problems for ten months.

I am now thirty-nine years old. I have spent a total of eighteen months in hospital.

I challenged my psychiatrist, & they said they could no longer see any signs of mental illness. So I did cold-turkey, against their advice & refused to take medication.

Three months later, I kept getting arrested by the police, for various inappropriate behaviour , including breach of the peace. I can relate this to you if you wish, i had alot of fun in this way with the Police.

Eventually at age twenty-nine, i was admitted into hospital, on a section, lasting nine months.

I became very very ill. I have been put onto various, & many different types of medication, etc.

From the age of thirty, to age thirty five: i was deeply depressed. I was deeply, deeply depressed & troubled, all the time.

The turning point in my life came on my thirtieth birthday, when i was locked up in the secure, extra care unit in the psychiatric ward of Torbay Hospital.

I found a book, called "Right with God", by John, Blanchard. The book introduces the non-Christian to Christianity, as if for the very first time.

Inspired by the book, I asked Jesus Christ into my life.

From that very moment, I received a vision about my mental health - that my mental health was to improve from that very moment onwards. Also I had a vision, and was inspired about what I want to do with the rest of my life, including, becoming a Public Relations Individual, & writing a book, etc…

The Best day of my life is: The day that I asked Jesus into my life.

From age thirty i started to attend church. I was put on their prayer list, & since then they have been praying for my recovery.

The vision that now inspires me, i believe has come to me from God, I believe it is God inspired.

I lived in two different hostels, for nine years.

Now , Nine years later, I am feeling much, better, & am getting on with my life.

I have moved out of care, am in a flat on my own. I have written that book . I have published my book: "Festival Lovers", also Published a book: My Art, a book of fourty of my own paintings. And have produced fourty songs onto C.D. also i am working on various other writting projects.

I have six voluntary jobs, : including: Leading a christian talk group, Oxfam shop worker, Links, coalition of disabled people, vocal citisens advocacy, & this : Menatal Health Service User advocacy.

I am on a fraction of the medication i was once on. When i was on the full dosage, i experienced very distressing emotions, & feelings & thoughts. During my illnes i have been very distressed & experienced much fear - am i dangerous? etc.

I can tell you the names of all the different types of medication that i have been on.

But the consultant Psychiatrists that have doctored me have all been very good : I realised that i had to take good advice, & take the medication etc advised. I have been nursed by very good nurses at hospital & care workers, etc. I have had much help from the community psychiatric team at Waverley House.

I have had cognitive therappy, etc. I have seen a comunity psychiatric nurse once a week throughout my journey through mental health.

God is inspiring, & blessing my life. And i am looking forward, with joy in my heart tor the future.



Mental Health
Service User Advocacy
(Part two)

By
Ken Harris
Torquay, Devon.


Well, anyway - when I learnt that Lyndon was not my son, we stayed in our relationship, together. But over the next five years, until the age of 26, it put my head in a spin. One minute I counted myself blessed: because I had been given a son - which was not even mine: what an honour! At other times, I felt that I was the 'fall-guy' taking on another mans son - I was the 'soft-touch'. I lost my self respect by allowing this to happen and seemingly accepting it.

I am a man and this incident destroyed my sense of being a man. It is a very sexual thing to father a child and to accept another mans child in this 'deceived' way destroyed my sense of being a man.

It destroyed my sexual identity and this is what eventually destroyed my mental health.

My head was put in a spin: was I being blessed or being abused. Was Julie taking the piss out of me? In hindsight it was as if it didn’t matter to her anyway.

When I started having counselling at Waverley house in the beginning. I was prescribed to take: Sulpiride - to help me. But I rejected medication, because I didn’t in fact believe in taking tablets.

I became more and more desperate as the weeks went on. I was crying all the time. I was constantly, many times a day, phoning my mum and Pat, in desperation because I needed their support. I was crying all the time.

Sexually, with Julie: my sex life deteriorated because I hated myself for staying with Julie after what she had done. I lost my sexual self respect. I became perverted and self destructive in bed, I became self abusive with unhealthy sexual fantasies, which destroyed my self respect. I did not respect myself, so went in a self destructive path. (I haven’t explained this very well).

At age 26, i went into hospital. Because i did not co-operate with the doctors, they put my on a six month section, & forced me to take Sulpiride tablets.

At age twenty eight, i was put on lithium tablets, for bi-polar dissorder.

At age thirty, by consultant psychiatrist, i was put on
Clo-pixol injection : Zuclinthinpixol.& Olanzipine tablets. It is at this point: age thirty - that was the turning point for me. It is at this point that my mental health began at long last to improve. Its all down to God, & good Doctoring - which is also a blessing from God.

My consultant psychiatrist, found me a hostel in Launston, cornwall. thinking i should make a fresh start. But i ran away & came back to torquay : because this is where my life is. Then i lived in a hostel Surryhaven for three years.

Talking is the most important, & useful practice in aiding & recovering from mental health problems - i believe. I have had a massive amount of councelling in my journey through my mental health problems.

I attempted suicide on one occassion, in Hospital. I tryed to electrocute myself with a wall socket & a knife & falk.I think that God here saved my life, & saved my from injury such as burning myself.

I have xperienced through my illness difficulties with what is called: Intrusive thoughts. These thoughts seriously inhibited my life & relationships for five & more years, from age thirty onwards.

I have been arrested about four times. I have been held in Police custody, at torquay police station more than once.
I broke into a hotel. I had a three course meal in a restaurant, all the time knowing that i had no money to pay.

Julie took out two injunctions against me to keep me away from here. one for six months, & then for a year. I asked Julie to marry me on three occassions.

Because of my, attention to Julie, Julies boyfriend hit me twice with a baseball bat.

I escaped from Torbay hospital AWAL. on numerous occassions.

I was High-as-a-kite, while on lithium for two years.

I have lived a Parkview hostel - & been high & manic, nearly all the time, my nuse said i was out of control.
I got thrown out of parkview for refusing to accept & take lithium tablets.

I was homeless for two weeks : eventually getting bed & breakfast, then & bed-sit.

It is due to God. It is due to the Psychiatrists. It is due to the nurses. It is due to care-staff. which is the reason i am feeling so much better now.

I have been taken off my clo-pixol injection now. Which is a massive mile-stone for me. I was once on 350 dosage a week.

After ten long years in care. I am now living in a self contained flat on my own - now for nine months.

I am interested in a career & vocation as a 'public relations' individual. & have six voluntary jobs, all of which are in areas i wish to develop as a public relations individual.

I am now thirty-nine years old.

I nurture a 'Vision' for my future.

My Journey Through Mental Health


An Interview with Janet – Nov 2004

 

I can’t blame my illness on anybody, but I was living with this girl – she had a baby and she told me the baby was mine .. I registered him with my surname and a few months down the line I had a blood test and found out the baby wasn’t mine. So THAT, I believe from what people have said to me, was probably the trigger for my mental illness … although I was very vulnerable as a child anyway, I came from a good home, but I was vulnerable because of different things that had happened in my childhood which made me susceptible to this trigger – I was what you call an unstable teenager, I wasn’t mentally ill but I was very unstable. If I’d left the girl and the baby when I found out it wasn’t mine, I’d probably have avoided having the whole breakdown anyway, unless I was going to have a breakdown, I don’t know … but because I stayed with them, because I loved them, what it did it actually destroyed the way I felt as a man, because it was another man’s baby, I felt like the soft touch

[…] over the years - we stayed together five years – it totally destroyed me .. I started to self-abuse, I lost my self-respect, I just completely went down the tubes … but along with that, I was trying to do a lot of writing, a lot of artistic stuff, so I’m wondering how much of it to blame on the relationship and how much of it was to blame on my struggling to write my book, which I’ve done

[…] a friend of mine told me to go to the GP, and he said I was suffering from hypermania, he referred me to a counsellor at [CMHT], and I had nine months of counselling there, and instead of things improving, they got worse and worse and worse – I assumed the counselling would enable me to sort through my problems and that I’d make a recovery, but every time I left the counselling session, I was feeling worse!

[…] I had nine months of counselling, I was holding down jobs and I was still living with the girl and my stepson … but I was getting really distressed, I was losing it, my mind was all over the place, and racing all the time, so I thought I need more counselling than this, I need to be taken apart and put back together again, so I thought I’d admit myself to hospital, so I went up to the hospital myself and admitted myself – they wouldn’t take me initially, but I convinced them that I had to come in […] they had a bit of history on me anyway, cause of the nine months of counselling, I’d seen [consultant A] at [CMHT] once and he said ‘I don’t think you need to come in’, I’d already talked it over, but then I decided ‘I need to come in’, I was working at [X] and one night I couldn’t catch up on my sleep, I was in a right mess, I thought ‘you need to go in now while you still got your life together’, cause if I go in as a person who’s got a life, they’ll respect me, they’ll listen to me, but if I lose my whole lifestyle, then go in as a tramp they’re going to think ‘well, he’s just a tramp anyway, so what does it matter?’, so I went in, I wasn’t looking for medication – I don’t know if this is true, it might not be true, but in a way I believe that I could have probably got through my problems without medication, all I wanted to do was to talk about things, but the state of the art of mental health, the way they’re structured, they say ‘right, medication, this is how we deal with you’, and then they broke me down, they said to me ‘you’re mentally ill’ - I think it’s part of the process of being conditioned, I had to admit, I had to say back to the doctor, ‘I’m mentally ill’, so that got me into the frame of mind of thinking ‘now I’m mentally ill’, they forced me to go onto sulperide, a major tranquilliser, I spent three months in hospital on section three, they lifted it afterwards […] they gave me the option, they said ‘will you stay voluntary’ and I said ‘look, I might leave tomorrow’, I didn’t think I needed to be there really, I just needed time out to be able to talk over my difficulties – they haven’t got the time to talk to you, so this is how they deal with you .. so they put me on a section for three months, then at Xmas I went back to the woman and her son, but I was in tears, I couldn’t cope with it any more

[…] in January I came out of hospital and I stayed with my parents for a while, but I was spending all my time in bed and my parents said ‘we can’t help you, what can we do? We don’t know anything about these problems, you’re staying in bed, WE don’t think this is healthy’

[Q – were they having any contact with anybody that they could ask?]

No, because it’s all confidential, you see, because mental health is all confidential

[Q - Sure, but if you’d said that you didn’t mind sharing stuff with them?]

Well they never asked me

[Q – was this long ago?]

This was 11 years ago, I’ve been ill for 11 years, I’ve been on medication 11 years So then my parents wanted me to move into a hostel, because they thought they’d help me more, and that was the right decision, I came to [hostel] and I spent 10 months here, and I was high as a kite for 10 months on sulperide .. I think my major illness is basically depression – they did tell me I was bipolar at one stage, manic depression, they put me on lithium, but while I was on lithium and while I was on sulperide, I was high as a kite, I was rushing round – I was on sulperide for a couple of months or maybe a year or so, and then they put me on lithium […] I came off sulperide a couple of times and I felt like I was going to crash, I phoned up all the helplines, I said ‘what’s happening? I’m either going to crash in the police station or I’m going to crash in the sea or I’m just going to start a fight with somebody’, I was panicking, and they said ‘well, get straight back on your meds’ […] I tried to come off without any advice, because I still believed that I didn’t need any of this shit and I didn’t want it [..] you can’t just come off it, it has this adverse effect – see, what happens is when you’re on medication, that’s your ticket to be able to use the mental health services, if you’re not on medication, well then you haven’t got a problem, it’s like your meal ticket, once you’re on meds, then you got the hospital, you got [CMHT], you got the GPs, you got psychiatric counsellors and all that at your disposal, cause you’re on meds, they look at you as if you’re a service user, if you know what I mean

[Q – what’s your attitude now to medication?]

well I still don’t like it but I’ve had to accept it – maybe it has saved my life, I don’t know .. I’m on clopixol at the moment, and olanzopine tablets .. I don’t know what they’re actually for .. so I lived at [hostel] , I was high as a kite for 10 months, I had a few girlfriends .. and then what happened – I decided that I didn’t want to be ill any more, so I started creating and saying ‘look, I don’t want this stuff, I’m coming off it’ .. I was under [consultant A), then I went under [consultant B] .. and I got involved with the police, I did all sorts of amazing, fantastic, good fun things! […] I had a lot of fun, but what happened was we had a big meeting at [CMHT] and [consultant B] said ‘you’ve got no signs of mental illness’, and I said ‘right, that’s it! I’m coming off all my meds’ – she said ‘we don’t advise that, come off it slowly’, I said ‘look, I either need it or I don’t need it, you just told me I don’t need it, so I’m going to do what’s called cold turkey and I’m coming straight off all this shit’ .. for a month, maybe even two months, I went along fine, I got a little flat .. but then all of a sudden it caught up with me and I ended up back at my GP, and he said ‘I think you’re going psychotic’ – I think he told me to go on lithium then – no he didn’t, he told me to go back on sulperide and I just got worse, so I ended up moving myself back into hospital, then they said I was bipolar, I went onto lithium, and I hated that, I said I’m not manic depressive, I don’t want all this shit, but they ground me down again, they made me submit to them, and I went onto lithium

[…] it was a condition that I couldn’t live at [hostel] if I wasn’t taking medication .. I lived in bed and breakfast for about three months .. I was homeless for two weeks, I lived on the streets, my parents were told not to take me in .. they totally rejected me .. the hospital staff said ‘don’t take him in, because it wouldn’t be to any of our benefits’

[…] I rejected them and they rejected me – I didn’t want their help […] I think the social worker came to visit me when I was on the unit before they chucked me out and said ‘look, can I offer you anything?’, I said ‘look, I don’t want this, I don’t want it’, I just wanted to get my life back, cause I believe that I’m a regular guy and I always have believed I’m a regular guy .. and I never wanted all these drugs […] but that’s how they dealt with it – I’ve actually found Jesus through it, but that’s another story! [laughs] I found faith! I found Jesus! .. yeah, cause I’m a born-again Christian, right, and that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t gone this way

[…] I actually said to one doctor ‘I want [consultant B] to be the wooden leg to prop up the puddle that I’m standing in!’ [laughs] […] it’s amazing, when you’re ill you can make things rhyme and everything, unusual things, your mind really speeds up […] you can talk a hundred miles an hour and everybody can relate to you and you have them laughing and crying within seconds, it’s amazing, it’s really good fun – but it’s not actually healthy, a lot of people say it is actually very sad .. but it can be exciting and fun as well

[…] I believe that I’m probably at my most well that I’ve ever been in my life now .. […] when I was a teenager, I was fully well, but I was unstable […] now, I feel like I’ve experienced a lot of life, I’m more stable as a person now, and also they’ve reduced my medication by about 15 times – I’m on 15 times less now than I was on four years ago .. and I’m hoping, praise to Jesus, god help me, that I can make a full recovery, that’s what I’m hoping […] I might have to be on medication for the rest of my life, I don’t know yet, it’s too early to say

[Q – what’s helped you most to recover?]

[…] all the staff, all the staff in the hospital, [hostel], the staff here - talking to well people is the most important thing – although you can talk to anybody, but if you choose to talk to ill people, you can’t guarantee the right response, I’ve always thought to myself, if I need to talk over a problem, find somebody who’s well and talk it through – talking’s the best therapy in the world, I believe

[…] I’m hoping to get my life back on track now, in fact at this very moment I’ve been living out of [hostel] for two weeks, I’m trying to live independent, and seeing how it’s going .. and if it works out for me and for my landlord, then I might move out permanently […] I’m trying to make progress and get my life back together again, and to come back here [he hostel]would be quite frightening, because I want to get out of here

[…] the mental health service is wonderful – you know, at times I was scared of falling through the net, and you wonder whether some people DO fall through the net, I don’t know, but like I’ve actually written it down before, they even gave me a toothbrush in hospital, a toothbrush! – there was nothing that they didn’t provide, they provided everything, and it was wonderful, and it gives you belief in human nature – so it was really good, it’s been a really valuable experience, I wouldn’t change this breakdown for the world .. like they say, god teaches you more through difficult times than he does through good times .. and I asked Jesus into my life when I was in the extra care unit, locked up, in the psychiatric unit – I came across a book called ‘Write with God’ [?] by John Blanchard and I asked Jesus into my life, and from that moment – I was thirty years old exactly – I saw this chart, like this big tick in front of me, and at the bottom I was aged thirty, and from thirty onwards it went up, and I really believe that that has been a vision which god has given me for my future mental health .. because from the age of thirty - I’m now thirty-seven – I believe that my mental health’s been getting better and better and better

[Q – a lot of that has been to do with your faith?]

yeah, it has, it’s got me through, without that – who knows, I might not have made it without Jesus, you know, some people DON’T make it – I actually tried to take my own life at one point […] it was a real serious attempt […] I tried two or three times, then I gave up […] and it didn’t happen, and I believe Jesus saved my life […] there was a turning-point in my life, and the best day of my life was the day I asked Jesus into my life, I really believe that .. but I gave up my attempt at suicide, they put me on anti-depressants for a couple of weeks, because I told them what I’d tried to do

[Q – are there any things you’d have liked to see happen that maybe didn’t?]

[…] I’ve really got a lot of faith in the ways .. cause I was in when it was Edith Morgan [former inpatient unit], I haven’t been in the new unit – I liked Edith Morgan, it was a big open-plan, you could see everybody, that’s what I liked about it, it was a big social place, whereas now it’s all divided into rooms, and I think you miss that interaction, cause I’m one of these people that likes to be talking all the time, you know, if people’ll listen to me, I like chit-chat, and I think that’s healthy

[Q – have you used any day centres?]

I’ve used [day centre] – at one point I was going there every single day for about three years […] I don’t like the way it’s run any more because they have groups on all the time .. they’re not open like they used to be, you can only drop in three days a week .. and I don’t think people really use that art stuff in a way, you know .. I think the idea is to shift it from just a place where you go and drink coffee to a place where you actually integrate into life, that’s the idea, isn’t it, they’re trying to re-habilitate you more – I preferred it when you could just drop in

[Q unclear]

I don’t like it, but maybe it’s given me space to heal myself .. I don’t know, when I was on a lot of medication – I used to be on clopixol three fifty a week, now I’m on clopixol seventy-five a month, and that has made a total difference to me, cause when I was on three fifty a week, which I was on for four whole years, I was like a zombie, I was at ground level, you know, I was so deeply depressed and deeply troubled all the time .. those were the hardest years of my life and I’ll never forget them, they were really hard years .. I lived in Cornwall for a little while, [consultant 2] put me in Cornwall, she thought I could do with a fresh start, but my life’s here in [town], so I came back, cause this is where all my friends are, this is my life, you know? .. so I ran away from [town in Cornwall], and I came back to [town], put myself in hospital for a couple of weeks, and then eventually they found [landlord?] to take me .. but I was like a vegetable for four years, I really was […] all my friends thought I’d had a stroke, that’s how bad I looked

[Q – and what part of that was the illness, and what part was the medication?]

I don’t know, and I never will know .. it’s been suggested to me that I was never mentally ill, but I wouldn’t want to say that .. well, you never know with these things, do you, once your medication comes into play, you never know what’s what … and for many years, it was difficult to think, is this me or is this the medication? .. but I’m just going to have to put my faith in the doctors and say ‘look, you made the right choice’ .. because I’m still alive today, maybe I wouldn’t have made it on my own .. maybe I’d have jumped off a cliff or something, I don’t know .. so, like I say, although they gave me the medication which I DIDN’T want, they also gave me the support which I DID use .. it was a package deal, which is what I was trying to say earlier – it’s a package deal, you do get the support, so, if you can put up with the medication, the support’s there, and if it’s god’s will, you will get through it and you will make a recovery

[Q re care plans]

they do do care plans here in [hostel] .. but I’ve never really been into it, I’ve always wanted to do my own thing .. I sit down, I go through the care plan, we agree on everything, and then I go out the door and do exactly what I want to do anyway! [laughs] .. I’ve always tried to follow my own aspirations in life […] I think [the care plan’s] constructive, but I haven’t really given it a lot of thought, because I’ve been promoting my book, writing my book, doing my paintings, my music .. I spend a lot of time walking up and down the town, which I enjoy because I meet lots of people – I’ve lived here all my life, so I know a few people, and I find walking up and down town one of the best constructive ways of spending my time .. but it CAN be a bit monotonous at times, and now I want to spend time living again after all these years



Chapter Three

Asking Jesus into my Life.


At the age of 29, I found two pieces of literature: 'Journey into Life', by Norman Warren. & 'Right with God', by John Blanchard. They both describe the 'Sinners Prayer', the prayer of asking Jesus into ones life, to be saved by Jesus & to recieve his blessing & eternal life in heaven. The prayer goes like this:

Dear Jesus - come into my life as my saviour to cleanse me, as my lord to control me & my friend to be with me now & forever, & thankyou for dying on the cross to save me from my sin, Please help me to serve you in complete obiedience from this day onwards.

I prayed this prayer, 'The Sinners Prayer' right on my thirtieth birthday & this was & is the best day of my life because of this.

I had a vision then, that my mental health would improve from that very moment onwards. & within two weeks of saying this prayer, my mind was flooded with thoughts about my future & what i am going to do with the rest of my life. & this included : Writing a book, making a film, becoming a minister, & working as a 'Public Relations' individual.

Now, I have written that book, & made a DVD, jackannory style from the book. I have six voluntary jobs all toward the public relations that i want to do: Including:

Promoting:
Christianity
Good mental Health
Famine Relief
Equality for disabled People
Homes for the Homelass

I now live on my own at Castle Circus, town centre Torquay, in Devon.

Now that i am thirty-nine.

I have five titles which i have published and which are available to order in any good book shop, including WHSmith & Ottakars, they are:

'Festival Lovers' a feel good novelette
'My Art, a Book of Paintings'
'The Best Day of My Life is Today' , my Autobiography.
'A Public Relationship' notes toward a novelette
'The House of Books' notes toward a novelette


I have six voluntary jobs, including:

I lead a 'Christian Talk' group, once a week at a drop in centre, which i founded, & have been running for eight months
I am a mental health service user advocate, & help to teach mental health workers how to do their job , by educating them
I am on the Patient & Public involvement forum, promoting good mental health in Devon
I work for Oxfam, in their charity shop, on the till & in the front of the shop
I work for The coalition of Disabled People, filling out disability living allowance application forms for clients
I work for 'Vocal, citizens advocacy', helping people socially & befreinding, etc
I support the Homeless charity: The langley House Trust.

I see my step son each week, sometimes a couple of times each week.

I go to Central methodist church each week, where the minister is called Glyn.

I have read 'The Lions Childrens Bible', by Pat Alexander, fourty times

I have read, 'The Hoy Bible' new international version, completely, once, in my thirty-ninth year. I have read 'The New Testament, three times. I have read 'The Psalms' & 'Proverbs', about ten times.

I have read 'Right with God', by John Blanchard, twenty- ,two times.

I have read: 'Explaining Prayer', by Joyce Huggett, twelve times.

I am a member of : The Leaders of Worship, & Preachers Trust.

I have aspirations of studying, & qualifying to become a 'Local Preacher', & if i am successful, & if it is Gods Will for me, then i have aspirations of going on to study, & qualify, to be a Mothodist Church Minister!

I have Aspirations of becoming a 'Public Relations' individual, promoting the six areas that i am interested in.

I have aspirations to write for newspapers, - local & National.

I would, if it is Gods will, like to get married & have a family ; but also , if it is Gods will, i shall remain single?

I always want to have my home base in Torquay, even if i work at other places from time, to time.

The best day of my life, really is : the day that i asked Jesus into my life. Maybe i will go on to explain why i think this is true for me, in my own individual life.

The Psalmist says:

Lord, you have assigned me my portion
& my cup, you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in
pleasant places, surely i have a delightful
inheritance.

I will rest in peace, because you will not
abandon me to the grave.

You have shown me the path of life.

I love my family dearly, dear God, please keep them & love them , & bless them with a place in heaven for eternity when the time comes, & inspire them into your will. & me also, & indeed - everyone.!



Aikido – The Art of Peace

I have practiced Aikido for twenty years, & I have achieved ‘Blue Belt’ grade.
I have aspirations of achieving the ‘Dan’ grade.

I practiced with many sensei’s : Ken, Eric, John, Danny, & Phil.
I like the Ki-Aikido, style. I like practicing in Phils class because he has a coffee break half way through the session, & this suites my personality, other wise two hours is to intensive.

The motivation of Aikido, is to promote peace between people. Some Christians say that it is not a Christian & acceptable thing to practice – I think that they only see it as fighting. But I think that Aikido is infact a blessing from God. This is a little bit controversial. Aikido promotes Love, peace, & good will between people. It has very high ethical motivations, To dissipate an attackers aggression in a peaceful way, without harming the attacker where possible. It is also very good for your health, & you do not have to be that fit or strong to practice it – women are often better at Aikido than men, because they are more relaxed.

I Love Aikido, & will like to share with you, my love of Aikido….

Writing for newspapers

In 1999, I was the first swimmer, who dived into the sea at Paignton beach , the Boxing day dip. I had my photo taken in my swimming trunks & peaked hat with a little boy who wore a wetsuit. We appeare in the Herald Express newspaper, with our names etc

In November 2005, I had a readers letter published In Herald Express , titled: ‘The Best Day of My Life…’.

On 23rd December 2006, I was featured in the Herald Express, the article written by Laura Dale : titled:
‘Ken Founds Bay Support Group’.

In 2006, Nov & Dec, I appeared in photos, & on ‘Spotlight’ news, & on the Radio, as part of publicity around the closure of watcombe Hall – for people with mental health problems.



Christian Talk group

I have founded & led the Christian Talk group, at the Cool House in Torquay. We meet every Thursday, & have now been meeting each week for eight months.

I normally prepare an openning prayer before each meeting beforehand. then i open the meeting with this prayer. then we talk socially, each of us bring our own agenda to the group. we try to minister to each other & share our own faith & experiences with each other. We talk about anything that is on our minds & sometimes pray for each other - things that someone especially want us to pray about, such as ourselves, & our family, health issues etc. We try to support eachother mentally & emotionally.

Then we read a passage from the Bible, such as, from : The Psalms, & proverbs. Sometimes from the Sermon on the Mount, About the life of Jesus, & his words from the New Tesament, or from Romans, & Corinthians, etc

We share the prayer that Jesus taught us : Our Father...

Then we pray for the world, & people of the world, & for our loved ones & ourselves etc.

Sometimes we pray : The sinners prayer

Then we sing normally two Hymns, from : Mission Praise etc.

Each week we get between : three, to six, to nine people in the group. We have had visiting christians in the group, including an Anglican Minister, & others etc

This is a really exciting opportunity for us all. So thank you God & Jesus Christ for this opportunity : The Christian Talk group. Amen.



Mental Health, service user Advocate

I help to teach Mental Health, nurses & proffessionals, how to do their job - by relating to them my own jurney through mental illness & mental health - to my own recovery.

I take part as an advocate. This is normally hosted by Janet or Pennie. We meet at a venue, such as Exeter hospital, Wonford, or at Langdon hospital, Dawlish, or at Cool House, Torquay. Sometimes hosted by Laurie.

Normally there are about twenty, student nurses, & some psychiatrists, & psycologists, & admin staff. I thay all sit in a circle. I then talk for about twenty minuites, about my journey through mental health - what worked for me, & my recovery etc. I try to assert how Jesus has helped me in my recovery, & good Doctoring, & nursing etc. Especially i try to emphasise how 'Talking' is one of the major things that have helped me - & i expect also probably being on the right medication, though i cannot asses this myself . Taking good advice from Doctors, nurses & care staff is all very important to recovery.
I have been an advocte for two years, & been ivoved in about six or seven student courses.



Oxfam Voluntary work

I work at Oxfam charity shop in St Marychurch, Torquay.
I work at front of shop, on the till. I worked first with manager: job, & now with manager: Donna. I love the work at Oxfam. I do four hours on a Friday afternoon every week, & have been doing it for about eight months now. They say : Four hours in Oxfam work is the equivalent to planting forty-two fruit trees in Africa!



Coalition of Disabled People Volunteer

I did two training courses at Exeter, to learn about Benefits etc - Government benefits: as training prior to working for the Coalition. Then Mickey taught me & trained me with clients, how to fill out: Disability Living Allowance forms. I now see one client each week on a Tuesday, & assist them & fill out their Disability Living Allowance forms. It takes about two hours to fill out one form. I enjoy doing this, i must have helped about ten clients now , over a period of a few months.



Vocal, citizen’s advocacy.

I have trained, & got a certificate to become a 'Vocal' advocate. I have been teamed up with two clients. I have been doing this work now for three years. I help clients by offering them time & friendship, & try to help also with other daily skills etc.



Patient & Public Involvement in health forum: Commission.

I help to promote good health care in Devon, with this Government organisation. I have been involved in promoting the forums work at Torbay Hospital etc such as with the hand washing campaign, etc. we meet about once a month. I am now specialising in the Good Mental health branch of the organisation, Led by Ben, & Jacqueline. We meet at various venues all over Devon.


The Langley House Trust Homeless Charity

As a Volunteer: to provide accommodation and support for homeless people.


Living as a Bachelor

I have now been living on my own since December 2005.
I live at : Croft Court, Abbey Road, Torquay, in Devon. I am very happy living on my own. My family support me & visit & help me. My friends visit me here. I have had dinner parties here, Lyndon visits me a couple of times each week. So thank you God, in Jesus name, Amen.

Local Preacher and Methodist Church Minister


I became a member of Central Church. Reverend Glyn Millington accepted me as a member of Central Church on Easter Sunday, 2006. My whole family was present at the Church, when Glyn anointed my head with oil, & made me a member, & gave me a Holy Bible, as a seremonial gift. At the front of the church on the stage.

I made this Testimony of my own personal faith, i said:

The best day of my life is not the day that i get married; the best day of my life is the day that i asked Jesus into my life.

I actually asked Jesus into my life right on my thirtieth birthday. So thankyou God, Hallelujah!

Dear God i pray that my family, mum, dad, & both my sisters, & Lyndon, & all our families will be saved, & come to live in Heaven with you Jesus when our lives are complete - in fact i pray this for every person, in Jesus name, Amen.


My First Girlfriends

I met my first proper - official - girlfriend when i was age fourteen, at Starbase, disco. Her name is Donna . We used to meet each week, at Starbase, & we met at Paignton, where she lived. Her friend came along with us also. We used to meet at the Park, in Paignton, & we used to walk around holding hands. Donna is still a friend of mine even now. Donna has a very special place in my heart & thoughts. Dear God Please bless Donna.

I had a girlfriend called: Phylis, from Audly Park school.
Phylis came to my parents house with me.

I went out with Janette , also from Audly Park school. I was friends with Camilla, of Croft Lodge school.

I was friends with Louise, of , Westlands school. Louise came to my parents house with me.

In my teens, i went out for many months with Kym . Kym & myself went out with each other on & off for a couple of years. We used to meet, also with Garri & Lucy, at the weekends. We all used to go to Lasers Disco at the harbourside. We also went to Kyms house in Brixham etc. And Kym came to my parents house.

I dated Mellanie, & we used to meet at 400 club. I was friends with Rachel, of Girls Grammar school, we used to meet at Starbase, & i went to her house. I dated Sam, & Anna-marie, of Dawlish - she wanted to become a Police constable. I dated a white south-African named: Kate, & went to her house at Bishopsteighnton. I went out with Nicky B.

I dated a sweedish girl: Lill-Ruth. We met when she holidayed here in the sommertime.

I dated a German girl all somertime, named Henrietta. Henrietta Used to visit me at my parents house. I used to take us out in my Vauxhall Viva car, also with Tim & his girlfriend. Henrietta & myself used to go out in Paignton, & also to the Hidaway club in Torquay. We dated for about three months etc.

I dated Michell, of Audley Park school. I was friends with Tracey, who worked at : T.S.B. bank. I was friends with Janice, at 400 club. I visited Sue, at her house, in Shirburn road. I dated Tina, & Jacky.

I dated a skin head called: Debbie, who i met at a day centre.

I visited Delma.

Lisa . visited me at my parents house, I met Lisa . at Hidaway night club.

Mandy visited me at my parents house, i met Mandy at Doodles night club.

I visited Madelene, at her flat. I was friends with Barbara, who i met at hospital.

I visited Stephanie B. at her flat in Ellacombe. We met at Hospital.

I lived with Julie & her son for five years, at Parkfield road, in Upton, Torquay. Julie & Myself met at Hideaway night club when we were both aged Twenty-one. Julie lived with me at my parents house, then we moved together to Parkfield Road. Then Julie gave birth to her son: Lyndon, who is registered surname is mine : Harris. I have done Paintings of Julie & her son Lyndon. Also i have done a painting: Alive Garden, The place where we lived in Parkfield Road.

Sarah visited me at Parkview. I met Sarah at The Valbonne night club when i was out with Kevin. Sarah came to Parkview with me.

I dated Catherine (Kay) . everyday for ten months, when i was living at Parkview. Me & Kay have remained good friends now for ten years. I have created two Oil Paintings: Portraits of Kay.

I previously dated Angela (Angie) for a couple of months. When i was living at SurreyHaven. We used to go cycling together. I used to visit her at her flat.

While at : Parkview, i dated Gina . for five months, & we used to visit each other. Gina & myself visited Dartmouth, & we went to London together, We went for meals at restaurants etc & took Lyndon with us to the Tajmahal etc. Gina & myself have remained good friends ever since. I have done two portraits of Gina.

In 2006, I dated: Karen . for six months. Karen used to visit me, & we went to Rainbow Hotel singles night together. I have done a painting of Karen.

In 2006, I dated : Alison for six months. Alison is a very lovely girl & has a nice personality & is nice to be with. Alison used to visit me at home, & i went to her flat. I have known Alison for twelve years. I have done a painting of Alison.


My Career


When at school, i had a Sunday Paper-round. I used to start at about seven am in the morning for my local 'five-ways' paper shop.

When at college. I had a Saturday Gardenning job. I worked for Mike P. at: Meadfoot, i used to work for about four hours at mid day. I used to cycle all the way there & back - it gave me some beer money for the Saturday night out with my friends.

I used to deliver the 'Weekender' newspapers down behind the Police station, on a saturday. once a week - it took about three hours each time.

I worked for Baldock, Benns & Heighway, chartered Architects, in castle circus, Torquay, for about five years - which is what my qualifications were in.

For BBH, i used to help to carry out on-site surveys :building & land-scape surveys. I used to do drawings :As existing; feasibility development drawings; planning drawings; & building regulations drawings. etc & construction drawings.

I worked for Johnsons newspaper wholesalers for six months; collecting the Times newspapers & packing them for local distribution.

I worked as delivery, lorry driver for Frank H Mann, delivering fruit & Veg in Torbay, & as far as Kingsbridge & Barnstable. I started work as early as four am. This was so that i could study A levels at college during the day etc.

I worked two day a week with Mark, selling Popular Books to business, i did this for eighteen months.

I worked at , The Showboat, amusement arcade for two weeks.

I worked as swimming pool lifeguard at The Imperial Hotel for one weekend.

I worked as a telephone salesman at Frank H Mann , for six months - taking orders etc for pre-packed vegetables etc.

I worked at McDonnalds for two weeks, as Grill Cheif, until i left of my own accord.

I had a work placement as a Hospital Porter for two months, at Torbay Hospital.

I am now an Author, i have written four books, & produced a book of paintings & am working on musical plays, & have recorded my own songs etc.

I have seven Voluntary Jobs, each one, a couple of hours each week, or each month.

I intend to get back to work as soon as is considered reasonable by my Doctor, & my health permits, And according to opportunity etc, As my aspirations inspire me, Amen.


My Fortieth Birthday Party


I held my Fortieth Birthday Party at The English Riviera International Conference Centre, in Torquay.

I had eighty guests, who celebrated this birthday with me. The Star guest was : Lyndon.

My G.P. Doctor Nicholas F. & his wife attended. Doctor Nicholas F. is the best Doctor in the whole world!

I had all my family: Mum, Dad, Shirly, & Pamela, & Daniel. My uncles & Aunties, & Cousin.

I had three church ministers, Glyn , Dave, & Peter.

I had lots of school & college friends & their wives & children: Garri M. Allen H. Tim H. James H. Steven J. Colin S. Jamie C. & others Tina D. Tina W. Sharon C. & others.

I had many Christian friends also.

The party was from : Twelve till four in the afternoon. My sister : Shirley laid on a stretch limousine, at the end of the afternoon, & me, & lyndon, & six other friends went all over Torquay for an hour.

I made a Speach, & we had a buffet. I believe that it was a very successful perty : at least for me it was.

Lyndons Grandmother Pat, also attended, which made it a special day . also.

I made a speach at about one-forty-five. I gave Mum a bunch of flowers, & a bottle of wine to dad, & gave presents also to my sisters.

Lyndon & myelf share the same birthday. On our actual birthday, when Lyndon was eighteen, we went to Chaplins pub at Castle Circus & had a celebration, birthday drink together! So thankyou God, Amen.


My Hundred & third Birthday


God willing - And by the Grace of God go I :

I intend to have my one-hundred-&-third birthday party at : The English Riviera International Conference Centre.

Indeed i may wish to have all my tenth (decade) parties at the : Riviera Centre - from now on.

My Fortieth party, really was a special present to my family, Mum, Dad, Lyndon, & Shirley, Pamela.



My Prayers

I pray that Jesus Christ
And that God also
will bless us all
and keep us,
all the days of our life
and for eternity

Amen

The best day of my life is:
The Day that I asked Jesus
Into my life!

Amen

I would just like to share this thought with you...

I saw this written in the sand at Torre Abbey beach in Torquay, when the tide was out:

L
G O D
V
E
S

Y
O
U


Amen.

My Prayer


Dear God, I pray that you will bless us all with good : Mental, physical, emotional, sexual, & Spiritual health, all the days of our lives, & that we will all come to live with you in Heaven when our lives are complete, In Jesus name , Thankyou, Amen.

My Prayer

Dear God, please bless me. Please fulfil your Purpose in my life. Please help me not to turn to the left or to the right, but to stay on track for the full realisation of your perfect plan & will for my life, in Jesus name, Amen.

Dear God Please Fulfil, your purpose for my life, nothing less, nothing more, nothing else, but your complete will & purpose for my life, in Jesus name, Amen.

My Prayer

Dear God, please let us all live , good , wholesome, healthy, happy, fulfilling, full, Born-again, Christian lives, & let us all live to our natural life span & all come to live with you in Heaven when our lives are complete, for eternity with you, according to your good will for our lives & the life of the world, in Jesus name, thankyou, Amen.

My Prayer

Dear God, please write your word upon our hearts, put your word upon our lips. in Jesus name, Amen.

Dear God, please write your word upon my heart, put your word upon my lips. in Jesus name, Amen.

My Prayer

Thank you God, for your wonderful and rich blessings to each of us, everyday of our lives. Thank you even for your gift of our faith in your dear and precious son, Christ Jesus, Amen. Thank you for our salvation given to us by Jesus’ life, Amen.

Please help us to share the love of Jesus with each other, please help us to encourage each other in our faith in Jesus, and in our Christian lives, individually and together, Amen.


Public Relations


God Willing, By the Grace of God:


I have aspirations to become a Public Relations Individual.

There are six areas that I wish to promote in the capacity of Public Relations, they are:

• Christianity
• Good Mental Health
• Famine Relief
• Equality for Disabled People
• Homes for the Homeless
• Space Aviation

Really I am interested in working in this area in the present. I am involved in voluntary jobs, right now, which are hopefully opening doors in to the areas of public relations that I hope to work in.

But officially, I wish to start Public Relations at the age of seventy. At present I am busy: writing my books etc… and following my aspirations to becoming a Christian and a Methodist Church Minister - however unrealistic these aspirations may be - By the Grace of God, go I!

When I officially begin working as a Public Relations Individual, I intend - may operate under the business name of: "Jo...Public", public relations service; I chose this business name, and had business cards printed with this name on them, even at mine age of twenty-nine.

When I do get into Public Relations as a career and Vocation - I intend to actively work in this area right up until the day I drop - I intend not to retire.

I have spent fourteen years out of work - due to sickness. I intend to work, now and for the rest of my life. Because Public Relations is not physically demanding, I don’t see any reason why I cannot carry on working until my life is complete

So thank you God, according to your will, dear Christ Jesus.

Amen.


Today


I breakfast with my parents on a monday. Mum & myself , swim at swim Torquay pool - we do twenty lengths. Then , Mum , Dad, & myself Lunch together.

On a Friday, i breakfast with my parents: Mum, & Dad.

I talk with mum on the phone nearly everyday, & sometimes Dad.

I talk with Shirley & Pamela, a couple of times each week.

I talk on the phone to Lyndon, most days. Lyndon visits me once or twice a week.

I see my friend Kevin about once or twice a week, & he prints & makes my books: Festival Lovers, etc.